What kinds of toys are good for first-timers if you’re in a relationship?
“A small and discreet ‘bullet’ vibrator is a good place to start. You can use it on your partner’s clitoris during penetrative sex, to amp up sensations and bring her to orgasm. Many women can’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation; if that’s the case, this can be a game-changer for your sex life. Another good beginners’ option is a vibrating cock ring like the Hot Octopuss Atom, which is ergonomically shaped to bring you both pleasure during intercourse.”
Will a vibrator desensitise women to the real thing?
“Some people, whatever their gender, seem to find certain types of vibration (often at the more intense and ‘buzzy’ end of the spectrum) can lead to a level of temporary desensitisation if used a lot. A vibrator is highly unlikely to permanently desensitise you, though: like any enjoyable activity, if you do it a lot, you’ll probably get used to it, and taking a break or changing it up is a good idea.”
What about toys for solo use?“If you’re new to the feeling of vibrations on your penis, something like the Hot Octopuss Jett allows you to experiment with different sensations to find out what you enjoy most as it has two customisable vibrators attached to it. Similarly, the Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse is a vibrating sheath to turbo-charge your stroking action. There are also several products designed to mimic the sensation of oral sex: AutoBlow, the Venus and Fleshlight range are some of the bestsellers.”
Any tips for feeling less awkward about using toys?
“It’s a massive shame there’s still so much stigma around masturbation, orgasming and sex toys. Given that most people enjoy and want masturbation and partnered sex, it shouldn’t be a source of embarrassment, and neither should it be considered shameful to use products that improve the experience. We think of them as tools rather than toys – tools to help you enjoy a great sex life. Sexual pleasure and orgasm is scientifically proven to be good for your physical and mental health and productivity, while sex with a partner is really important for many people in a good, loving relationship. Being able to explore each other’s sexual pleasure together should never feel embarrassing and, if it does, all the more reason to work on this.”
*Features published by SLMan are not intended to treat, diagnose, cure or prevent any disease. Always seek the advice of your GP or another qualified healthcare provider for any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise or other health-related programmes.