
6 Dads On What Fatherhood Really Looks Like
Lee Mullins
founder of Workshop Gymnasium
Fatherhood has been the most powerful shift. My wife and I have a daughter, Arya, who’s nearly two and a half. Since she was born, everything’s changed – for the better. Becoming a dad forces you to look at yourself honestly. Kids watch everything you do, and who you are is who they’ll become.
Time’s taken on a new weight. Every hour at work is time away from my daughter, so I’ve learned to focus harder, waste less and make time count. As a personal trainer, I’ve always cared about health, but now there’s more urgency. I want to show up with energy, strength and consistency, both at work and at home.
My priorities have flipped. The things that used to feel important – status, small stresses, day-to-day noise – don’t mean as much. There’s more clarity now. The stakes feel higher, but they’re also more meaningful. You’re not just building a career or chasing goals – you’re building a life for your family.
One thing I’d pass on: it’s easy to drift from your partner. It’s not dramatic – it just happens quietly, between nappies, feeding and logistics. But setting time aside each week – even 15 minutes to have a coffee together – makes a difference. Watching my wife become a mum has only deepened my respect for her.
Hiring a night nanny early on was a great decision. Getting sleep in those first few months helped us stay sane and start off on the right foot. Another game-changer was syncing our schedule with Arya’s. We now eat dinner as a family and follow her bedtime routine. It gives us longer evenings, better sleep, and a more stable rhythm. I train early – 5.30am – so I’ve had my time before they even wake.
This age is brilliant. Her personality is coming through, and sure, there are tantrums and boundary testing, but they pass, and the fun moments outweigh the rest.
If you’re new to this, trust your gut. There’s no rulebook, and you won’t get everything right – but if you show up consistently and support your partner, you’re already doing enough.
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Christopher Phelps
co-founder of No.17 House
Becoming a dad changed everything. The moment I met my daughter, I was surprised by how deeply I could love. You suddenly start seeing everything through a completely different lens.
She’s two and a half now. Watching her explore the world with such innocence is moving in ways I didn’t expect. She’s growing fast, and each day brings something new – new words, thoughts or ways of seeing the world. It’s a stage that offers just as many lessons for me and her mum as it does for her. She reminds me to keep things simple and be fully present, even when life feels busy.
Work and life look different now. There’s a real drive to work harder and provide for your family, but at the same time, you realise no job is more valuable than quality time with your child. The balance isn’t easy – it’s a constant adjustment – but it’s worth the effort.
Everything is a season. This is one mantra I’ve stuck to – nothing lasts forever, and even the hard bits pass faster than you think. And weirdly, you miss some of them.
Looking ahead, I want my daughter to feel proud of the way we raised her. I hope we stay close, and that she sees me as someone she can rely on – trustworthy, loyal and supportive.
My advice for staying grounded is to embrace the chaos. Try to laugh when it gets overwhelming. It will never be perfect, but that’s the point. And it all goes by faster than you think. To any guy about to become a dad, enjoy the ride. Spend as much time as possible with your babies, because these are the moments that matter most.
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Anthony Fletcher
co-founder & coach at One Track
You’ll learn to function on very little sleep. I have three kids under six – including a four-month-old – and each time I have been reminded how relentless the sleep deprivation is, especially when combined with adrenaline – you’re tired but wired. Those first few months are brutal, but it passes, and it’s more than worth it. My boys are four and six, and the best bit about fatherhood now is being able to take them out for the day – we go bowling, camping or to the zoo. The world opens up when they get a bit older, and it’s amazing. Being able to take them out solo is magic.
It’s okay not to feel the bond straight away. I didn’t feel that instant, overwhelming love at first, and thought something was wrong. In hindsight, I didn’t realise it can take time to build that connection, and that’s okay – I wish more people said that out loud. Don’t go back to work too quickly. Take as much time as you can to bond, help and be involved – it really helps build that love and understanding.
These days, I think long term. Every decision is now filtered through the lens of long-term security and family. I used to chase ideas, but now evaluate them more ruthlessly and filter everything through a 20-year lens – what’s right for the family, and what protects my time and energy.
Staying sane means picking your battles. When my two boys wind each other up, I’ve learned not every meltdown needs a rule or consequence. Sometimes they just need space – getting outside always helps. Remember you’ll always be learning as you go, and be kind to yourself along the way.
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Jeffrey Boadi
health coach
I’m ten weeks into fatherhood. The lack of sleep has been intense but somehow, even at 4am, seeing my daughter’s face it up makes it all worth it. She’s sleeping better now – and so am I – but those early days were a wild ride.
What’s changed most is my perspective. Everything – work, future plans, even how I train – revolves around her now. I still prioritise my health – it’s what I do – but I’ve had to adapt, whether it’s a shorter workout, convenience foods here and there, or less perfectionism across the board. It’s about doing your best with what you’ve got.
I’m a big believer in accepting help. It takes a village, and if people offer to help, let them. This Western idea of doing it all solo is nonsense. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and community is essential. My wife and I had a great deal of support, especially in the first few weeks when the adjustment is huge, and it made all the difference.
My hope is my kids see me as someone who always showed up. Someone who made space for them to be themselves and dream big. That, and someone who knew how to laugh through the chaos.
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Rob Rea
breathwork coach
Fatherhood hit me with a depth of love I never saw coming. You know there’s a baby coming – you see the scans, you feel the kicks – but nothing prepares you for that surge of connection the moment you hold them. That said, the other side of love is fear. I instantly felt a primal need to protect this tiny being.
The bond was immediate. I was prepared to be in a supporting role in the first year, but I was surprised by how present and connected I’ve felt in the process. It’s also clarified what I want from life. I’ve restructured my work so I can be more autonomous, so I can be there with my family when they need me. Fatherhood has also made me sharper about my health. Poor health now isn’t just inconvenient – it affects my family too.
There’s chaos, of course. But the good kind. I find daily recovery really helps – breathwork, cold plunges, and time in nature. Forest reminds me how to be present. He’s in the moment completely, and that kind of presence is a masterclass in perspective.
Trust your intuition. You’ll get endless conflicting opinions – from family, strangers, the internet – but no one knows your baby like you do.
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Ben Elliott
co-founder of Unplugged
Fatherhood is a full identity shift. You might lose freedom, spontaneity and sleep, but you gain a whole new sense of meaning. No one really warns you how total that transformation is, or how much joy you’ll get from something as simple as a cuddle at the end of a tough day.
Work now fits around life – not the other way round. If I don’t get something done during the day, that time’s gone. There’s no rolling it into the evening because that’s bath, dinner and bedtime. Life is lived in tighter windows now, which means being more focused and intentional with the time I have. Every decision now goes through the filter of: what’s best for the boys?
You don’t have to love every second. This is one of the most important things I’ve learned. Parenting is an endless, unrelenting rollercoaster, equal parts magic and madness. You’re not failing because you find it hard. All parents find it hard.
What helps is knowing you’re a team. Step in when your partner’s running on empty, and know when to take the reins. Also, exercise – it gives you an hour where your brain isn’t juggling snacks or nap schedules. You need that headspace.
There’s no silver bullet. There’s so much information out there, which can be overwhelming, but humans were born to be parents, and you’ll figure it out. Most of it is trial, error and learning what works for your family. Always trust your instincts.
Nothing beats seeing the world through their eyes. Right now, I’m loving how curious my eldest is – whether it’s bugs, puddles or bin lorries. It makes you slow down and realise how much magic lives in the mundane.
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