Parenting Advice From Men Who Have Been There

“Young kids don’t understand time. They don’t grasp what ‘being in a hurry’ means – in fact, they’re wired to explore and push boundaries. Being a dad means learning to pace your life differently. You may need to think and move fast at work, but you move at a different speed with kids. They need more time, patience, love and teaching, so factor that time into your schedule.” – Mark 

“If your little one isn’t here yet, educate yourself. An antenatal and hypnobirthing course is a must – just make sure it’s from a highly qualified practitioner so you have an evidence-based approach to birth. These courses are for both parents, and you should attend together. Remember you’re there to support your partner and instil confidence in them through the whole journey. If you aren’t informed or have no clue what’s happening, you can’t be the help and support she needs you to be.” – James 

“Every baby, toddler and child develops at a different rate, so don’t panic if you see a child the same age doing something your little one can’t do. Rest assured time will even everything out. Don’t worry what others think of your choices or parenting. Focus on your little one – at the end of the day, you’re the only expert on your child.” – James

“Being a parent is bloody hard work, especially in those early weeks and months, when sleep is interrupted, the little one is teething, and the cycle keeps repeating. It’s important you and your partner’s relationship is strong, so you communicate and work cohesively together to best support one another. When one is struggling, the other steps up, and vice versa. Make a plan of action: who will be on the night shift, who’s doing what mealtimes, and who’s doing the washing and tidying. At the same time, be prepared for nothing to go to plan and learn to be adaptable – that’s how we become experts at parenting.” – James 

“As a dad to three boys, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to trust your gut – a parent’s intuition is almost always right. Don’t let others make you feel like you’re doing it wrong. There are so many opinions out there and you’ll find others are more than happy to dish out unsolicited advice. This doesn’t mean you should never seek out external advice, but if you think something is unusual or out of the ordinary for your child, then you’re probably right. Parents know best – and that includes you as the dad.” – Christopher Money, co-founder & MD at Kit & Kin 

“I question the traditional gender stereotype roles within parenting. As a dad, I’ve found I’m sometimes called upon in moments where a more authoritative style of disciple is required. But I’ve also done far more nurturing and providing than I expected and have loved this aspect of being a dad. I can think about the kids’ needs, how they’re feeling, and respond with care. I’ve learned that being authoritarian, scary and critical isn’t the role of a father. Each time I’ve lost my temper or laid down tough love, it’s created distance between me and my children, and they’ve not benefited from the bruising and mistuned approach. My wife has shown me the incredible value of meeting children’s basic needs as a priority, way before discipline, behaviour, manners and rules.” – Jordan Vyas-Lee, psychotherapist & co-founder of Kove 

“Ride it out. Whether it’s the early months and you’re exhausted, the toddler years and they’re running riot, or teenagers that are 13 going on 18, you can only address every situation as best you can and hope that they continue to grow and evolve into an adult that will help to make the world a better place in the unique way that only he or she can.” – Christopher 

“You don’t have to be an instant parenting expert. As a dad, you’re going to have an onslaught of new experiences coming your way, and for many of them you’ll have no idea what you’re doing. Fumbling through fatherhood is part of the joy of being a dad – talk about it with others, and don’t isolate yourself.” – Kevin Maguire, founder of The New Fatherhood

“As a society, we spend millions on self-help books, courses and personal growth. But becoming a dad is the biggest transformational opportunity life will ever throw your way. It will make you reconsider your own childhood, the choices your parents made, the things you care about, and what to prioritise in your life. It's a cliché, but fatherhood does indeed change everything—and if you learn how to lean into it, those changes will be for the better, across all aspects of your life.” – Kevin 

“I always appreciate William B Irvine’s ‘Last Time Meditation’ thought. Essentially, when you’re doing something, reflect on the possibility that this might be the last time you do it. This can help change your perspective on a tricky situation. I had this recently with my daughter while drying her hair. She hates getting it dried – and I hate drying it too, because she complains, won't sit still, and gets frustrated with me as I attempt to comb out all the knots. We both end up annoyed with each other. The other day, I was thinking about this meditation and realised that, very soon, she's going to be drying her own hair. And you know what? I'm really going to miss doing this. In an instant, it completely changed the way I saw the situation.” – Kevin 

“Every parent is different, and everyone’s situation is different, and you’ll quickly realise everyone has their own way of doing things, despite going through a lot of the same things. Be a team player and make sure you’re willing to compromise with your partner. You have so many more decisions to make in a day as a parent, and they’re a lot easier when you’re on the same page.” – Ed Lewis-Pratt, co-founder of Roarsome

“One phrase that has stuck with me is giving your kids ‘freedom within boundaries’. This means giving them structure but allowing them space to explore within that, building their confidence and their own authentic personalities. One of the hardest things is to try and not put your fears on your children, and let them work things out for themselves. Remembering that fear is a learnt behaviour and something that kids don’t really have. Our son is currently trying to walk, and I have to close my eyes sometimes when he charges across the room with his walker, but he always surprises me with how capable he is. We find that the more we empower him to make his own decisions and choices, the more he grows.” – Ed 

“Children are a gift and a blessing, but being a parent takes a lot of hard work and commitment beyond just caring for them. Problems will arise and you need to find innovative ways to approach them that feel right for you and your family, as well as for the benefit of your child as they grow up. Learning to respond to a situation rather than react has been a huge lesson for me; remembering the way you react with and around your child might have an impact on them far into adulthood. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Always try and actively listen to what your kids have to say and try to understand where your children are coming from rather than just reacting or barking at them. This is particularly important as they become older, and have thoughts and opinions in their own right.” – Nathan Dennis, co-founder of First Class Foundation 

For more from the experts, visit MidwifePip.com, KitAndKin.com, TheNewFatherhood.com, Roarsome.com, Babbu.co.uk, TheBumpClass.com, KoveMinds.com and FirstClassNation.com